Saturday, March 20, 2010


There is something both satisfying and sad about removing my makeup, however I tend to lean towards the latter. It's satisfying in the sense that I suddenly feel the urge to rub my eyes, which I'm only too conscious of my inability to do so while wearing makeup. Even if I don't want to rub my eyes, I think about the fact that I can't, because it will cause raccoon eyes, and mascara smudges all over my hands. I think it's more the thought of not being able to do something. I am definitely someone who can't stand to be told she can't do something. So much of my life seems so out of control, and I like being able to control things, even if small and insignificant. Which is strange, seeing as makeup is a self inflicted disguise women wear on a daily basis to hide their imperfections as a masquerade of confidence. I think what makes me sad about removing my makeup is the fact that to me, it is a masquerade of confidence. Removing it makes me feel like I'm removing my confidence. I wish there was some way to put makeup on my soul. Permanent, tattooed makeup on my personality, that way my confidence would never be shaken or removed. And yet, I still enjoy wearing makeup, because as an artist, it is, to me, a way to express my creativity and how I'm feeling that day - dark, and dramatic, or wild and whimsical. Either way, as I'm sure several girls can attest to, makeup is both liberating and imprisoning.

No comments: